


I read Cosmo for the quizzes

by Chan_redd



Category: South Park
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-10
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:01:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24112471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chan_redd/pseuds/Chan_redd
Summary: Kyle Broflovski was a teenage tragedy complete with unrequited love and plenty of self-pity. And Stan Marsh just wanted to touch his best friend's hair.
Relationships: Kyle Broflovski/Stan Marsh
Comments: 8
Kudos: 46





	I read Cosmo for the quizzes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Jascel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jascel/gifts).



It was a Saturday morning and Kyle Brofloski was considering dropping out of school for the third time in the space of two hours. Why did they have to learn about geometry anyway? When would working out the radius of a circle ever come in handy in his everyday life? And why the fuck are these numbers not making sense in his head?

He closed his notebook and put his head into his arms, trying to calm his breathing before he attempted his homework again. 

He was laying on the carpeted floor of Stan Marsh’s room; their homework, stationery and various snacks spread out in front of them. Stan was laying on his bed, his hand dangling off the side and next to Kyle’s head, his fingers sometimes lazily playing with the mess of red curls on his best friend’s head. 

Stan had long since given up on even pretending to do his homework and was just scrolling through his phone, the screen reflecting in his eyes in the dimly lit room. The worst part was that Stan was actually good at this sort of math and it probably made sense to him immediately and now Kyle was gonna have to ask him for help and Stan was never going to let it go because Kyle gloated the last time he had to help Stan with a history essay and –   
Kyle was broken out of his internal rambling by the sound of Stan’s voice in the quiet room. 

“If you grew your hair out a bit more and wore some mascara, you’d look like a pretty girl.” His hand came out to pull at a springy red curl that was resting on Kyle’s forehead. 

“Stanley, what.” 

Kyle stared at his best friend with a mix of shock, confusion and, to his embarrassment, a hint of a blush on his freckled cheeks. 

This is the thing. Kyle and Stan have been best friends for pretty much their entire lives, and Kyle has known since he was about 12 that he liked dick. And he’s known since he was about 13 that he especially liked Stan’s dick.   
No wait, that was crass.   
He liked Stan.

And, to his utter fucking dismay, he realized that he might actually be in love with the idiot.

Kyle Brofloski was a teenage tragedy complete with unrequited love and plenty of self-pity.   
That wasn’t to say that he had even breathed a word of this to Stan. When Kyle had found out about his sexuality, he had just casually brought it up while they played video games, staring ahead at the screen as his heart hammered in his chest and he could feel his hands shake as they gripped the controller. Stan’s response had just been “thanks for telling me, dude. But I totally knew.” And Kyle had laughed nervously because if Stan could read him this easily then how the fuck was he going to keep his crush a secret? But Stan had never said ‘hey man, you know that giant crush you have on me? How about you stop that shit,” and Kyle had tried his best to keep his pining to a minimum. But it was getting increasingly difficult, especially when Stan kept saying things like this and constantly touching him.

He mentally shook his head and tried to force himself to stop taking everything so seriously. It was Stan, he probably didn’t even realise what the shit he said did to Kyle. 

“Are you drunk, Stan?” 

“Your hair has just gotten pretty long, is all.” He said, shrugging as if this made all the sense in the world and Kyle was the weird one for not getting it, “kinda like Red, but with a better jaw line.” 

Kyle’s face had fully moved from the ‘subtly blushing’ to ‘fire engine red’ by now, he could feel the heat radiating off his cheeks as he stared at Stan, slack jawed. 

“’But with a better jaw line’?” he repeated, “what kind of fucking bullshit… have you been reading Shelly’s Cosmo magazines again?” 

“I like the quizzes.” 

Kyle chucked a piece of balled up paper at him. “You like the entire thing, you idiot. It’s trash by the way.” 

Stan grinned and Kyle tried desperately to not lick his lips when he looked at Stan’s mouth. 

“I’m sorry not all of us are as cultured as you, Kyle.” 

Kyle rolled his eyes as he got up off the floor, abandoning all hope of even getting any homework done with when Stan was being this distracting. 

“I feel like we’re straying from the point here.” 

“The point is that you’d make a pretty girl.” 

He knocks Stan’s phone out of his hands before flicking him on the nose. 

“Are you saying I’m not pretty now.” 

Stan pauses and looks like he’s actually giving the question some thought.

“Yes.”

Kyle frowns, getting ready to call Stan a dick before he realizes that Stan hasn’t finished speaking. 

“As a boy, you’re beautiful.” 

Kyle’s ears roared as he felt his heart flutter in his chest, his fingertips tingling as the words rolled around and around in his head. He clears his throat, trying to get a grip on his emotions. 

“Are you sure you aren’t drunk?” He says, his voice cracking as he tries to sound nonchalant when he is in fact chalanting pretty hard. 

“Like, 89%.” 

“Let me smell your breath.” 

Oh god why did he say that. 

“What, dude no way! I’m not drunk!” Stan laughs, shoving Kyle’s shoulder.

And then because terrible decisions appear to be the theme of the morning, Kyle decides he’s going to wrestle with Stan. And as he climbs on top of his best friend, trying to pin his body between his thighs, he comes to the realization that maybe having Stan’s crotch directly under his ass wasn’t the best idea he’s ever had. 

Stan tries to roll them over, but the years of playing basketball and overall experience he’s obtained from years of wrestling with Stan allows Kyle to have the upper hand. Kyle manages to pin Stan’s hands to his sides, his breath tickling the front of Kyle’s face. 

Kyle grins victoriously. 

“I win, Stanley, now open up so I can smell your alcoholic breath and call your parents to tell them that you’re drunk as fuck at 10am on a Saturday and calling your best friend beautiful and telling that he’d make a pretty girl.” 

Stan stubbornly shook his head, keeping his mouth tightly shut. 

“I’ll tickle you, Stan.” 

Stan looked at him, a flash of fear in his eyes as he looked his best friend in the eyes and tried to determine whether Kyle was kidding or not. 

Kyle brings his fingers up to wiggle them in Stan’s face. 

“I’ll punch you, Kyle.” 

Kyle brings his hands closer to Stan’s sides, and before he can start his assault on Stan’s ridiculously ticklish body, Stan does the only thing he can think of doing. Maybe it was his body going into fight or flight mode, or maybe he’s wanted to do this ever since Kyle had let his hair grow out.

Stan reaches his hand out and into Kyle’s mess of red curls and he grabs and he pulls. 

And before he can control himself and stop his body from betraying him, Kyle Brofloski fucking moans out loud.

**Author's Note:**

> This is part of a 2 part fic for my lovely boy, Jase. Happy belated birthday, love. i hope we're writing each fics until we're old and grey.


End file.
